In order to continue, the difference between English and British must be emphasised; something best illustrated by Hollywood casting. While Irish, Welsh and Scottish accents are either masked or employed for their sonorous qualities, the middle class English accent is immediately associated with either an old-fashioned sort ripe for ridicule, or an all-purpose villain that evokes the revolutionary struggles with the British Empire when set against an American-speaking protagonist.* The Imperial Officers in Star Wars or the Romans in Spartacus are but two examples.
Why does this not bother the English? As suggested earlier, the Poms know how to take the piss, as one look at a London tabloid or ‘healthy’ pub menu would confirm. Along with a drink-drank-drunk attitude to booze, the ability to mock ourselves is a quality brought to Australia on the First Fleet. The emergence of England as an industrial powerhouse, its brutal expansion on a world scale followed by the gradual decline of the past century shows the much-needed development of this thick skin.
What do you mean you're not hungry?
The English people – at least the wealthier ones – managed to bargain a pretty good deal with whomever it was that ruled them over the centuries. Apart from the odd invasion, language change and genocide from Anglo-Saxons, Vikings and Norman French, peasants lived quite decent lives on fertile English soils, makings their lords rich and keeping the power of the king limited and representative.** For most of its history, England was not much bigger than the British Isles and its lands in France. As long as the cider supply remained intact, pastoral villagers cared little for the petty squabbling of their nobles.
Cut to the time of Queen Elizabeth I and we see a different England emerging. The year is 1588; the English reformation has overthrown the power of the Catholic Church; the English language is now spoken by rulers and peasants alike; and the invading Spanish Armada has been defeated. With God on their side and a spanking new navy, England saw the commercial benefit of making war with tribes armed with sharpened mangoes rather than their old European foes. Over the next two hundred years, England (joined with Scotland to make Great Britain in 1707) controlled the east coast of North America, most of the Caribbean, India, Pakistan, countless Pacific Islands and Australia – making the Roman Empire look like Tasmania.
Britain lost America in 1776, but the industrial revolution had kicked in and with the defeat of Napoleon a few years later, the English were made practically invincible. As the English language and Earl Grey Tea spread around the world, so did the prim and proper stereotypes in which we bask today. Much to their surprise, the world eventually grew tired of having baked beans and chips with every meal and by the 1947, even India wanted out.
To their credit, English have taken their defeat gracefully; their ale may be warm, but our coins still bear the Queen’s face. Although most Poms do not dwell on their history, the world has a free pass to remind them of their past horrors with a playful chuckle rather than the don’t-mention-the-war issues with other European ex-empires. Next time you meet an Englishman, remind him of the treatment of various indigenous peoples and you will receive the adorable and frustratingly courteous response: “Oh right, we did that too? Sorry about that.”
* An entire industry is based on English accent lessons. Some are better than others.
** Just because the old-country makes me blubby, doesn't mean we still need kings.
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