Fuck Apple.
Rather than leave it there and create the first two word article in history, prudence and clarification demand that such a material-rich topic be described with more than a lazy, multi-purpose obscenity*. Not even war, religion, politics or abortion create a bigger divide amongst the technological populace than which side of this proverbial orchard that you chose to dedicate your every waking keystroke to.
As an almost experienced and somewhat literate PC user/computer gamer, I grew up with a cassette-powered Commodore 64, through the dir/w days of MS-DOS to the happy day I installed Windows 3.1 in 1992. Combined with a CD-Rom and a Wingman Extreme joystick, that was a hard combination to top. Sadly, each new version of Windows brings a “simplified” approach, hampering the usability of a flawed but effective product. The reason? The rotten fruit from the tree of excrement we now call Apple.
“Why fight the strudel of our society Dan?” I hear you say, “I love Apple products because they are so easy to use and do everything I need them to do!” Absolute balls. The attitude of the average Apple user says it all – that understanding a machine is secondary to ease of use and the ego hand job of owning the latest device**. A PC is a tool of freedom – you can open it up, tinker with it and change the components to suite your lifestyle. Apple, on the other hand, is a philosophy – it opens you up, tinkers with you and changes your lifestyle to suit its usage.
Rather than leave it there and create the first two word article in history, prudence and clarification demand that such a material-rich topic be described with more than a lazy, multi-purpose obscenity*. Not even war, religion, politics or abortion create a bigger divide amongst the technological populace than which side of this proverbial orchard that you chose to dedicate your every waking keystroke to.
As an almost experienced and somewhat literate PC user/computer gamer, I grew up with a cassette-powered Commodore 64, through the dir/w days of MS-DOS to the happy day I installed Windows 3.1 in 1992. Combined with a CD-Rom and a Wingman Extreme joystick, that was a hard combination to top. Sadly, each new version of Windows brings a “simplified” approach, hampering the usability of a flawed but effective product. The reason? The rotten fruit from the tree of excrement we now call Apple.
“Why fight the strudel of our society Dan?” I hear you say, “I love Apple products because they are so easy to use and do everything I need them to do!” Absolute balls. The attitude of the average Apple user says it all – that understanding a machine is secondary to ease of use and the ego hand job of owning the latest device**. A PC is a tool of freedom – you can open it up, tinker with it and change the components to suite your lifestyle. Apple, on the other hand, is a philosophy – it opens you up, tinkers with you and changes your lifestyle to suit its usage.
Error 404: Common Sense not Found
Not convinced? Try taking a broken iPod to your local Apple store. My iPod was clever enough to display a sad face when switched on, so I knew it needed fixing. Some research indicated that either the battery was dead or the hard disk corrupted. The friendly girl at the counter agreed with this diagnosis and I asked if it could be fixed. No, because I need to make an appointment with the ‘Genius Bar’ who will sit with me one on one so we can “identify out the problem and find a solution”.
Naturally, there were no such appointments available for several days and I was not permitted to leave my broken device to be repaired without a diagnosis session for a problem that has been already diagnosed. This secrecy and smothering personal service is the backbone of the whole Apple experience – like an illiterate peasant relying on bible interpretation of the medieval church. Control the device – control the customer. Although it seems ill-fitting to compare Apple to religion, they seem very concerned with dictating our lives – their attitude to smoking is a good example.
A brand gone mad, Apple has taken on Woolworths for having a "similar" looking logo, forced Ellen DeGeneres to apologise for even criticising the iPhone and burnt any heretic who shows an understanding of their technology (or should that be gospel?). Combine that with voiding warranties for even taking apart an Apple device, you have a captive market that would rather smile and synchronise than think for themselves. Keep your usability – give me the blue screen of death any day.
* A subject that will be tackled at a later effing date.
A brand gone mad, Apple has taken on Woolworths for having a "similar" looking logo, forced Ellen DeGeneres to apologise for even criticising the iPhone and burnt any heretic who shows an understanding of their technology (or should that be gospel?). Combine that with voiding warranties for even taking apart an Apple device, you have a captive market that would rather smile and synchronise than think for themselves. Keep your usability – give me the blue screen of death any day.
* A subject that will be tackled at a later effing date.
** Although, I pretty sure they’re good for designing and stuff.
Fuck Apple, enough said. ;)
ReplyDelete- Mark Go