Coffee

While observing passersby during a procrastinational wander to the local coffee shop, I began to appreciate the power this aromatic commodity has over the lives of millions on a daily basis. The percolating effects of this beverage are well documented; the varieties of coffee seed* are as numerous as the methods of preparation employed throughout the globe. Until experiencing the run of the mill coffee overseas, you can easily overlook how obsessed Australians are with it.

Part security blanket, part legal high, this black beverage has fascinated mankind for centuries. Legend has is that it was discovered by an Ethiopian goat-herder who noticed that the dancing abilities of his usually uninspiring goats improved dramatically after the consumption of coffee berries. Not until coffee, or qahwa, hit the Arab world in the 1450s do we see written evidence about its consumption or effects. Muslim monks from Yemen documented the spread of this sleep-inhibiting, Ethiopian booze alternative from their home town of – you guessed it – Mocha.

Like all things fun, tasty or mind-altering, coffee had a rough time earning respect amongst God-fearing conservatives. Islamic theologians in Mecca forbade its consumption in 1511, only to have the latte-loving Turkish Sultan overturn this judgement, leading to the world’s first coffeehouse in Istanbul in 1555. As this Muslim beverage spread to Europe, Christians of all kinds feared the “bitter drink of Satan” until Pope Clement VIII’s aromatically decreed in 1600: “This devil’s drink is so delicious…we should cheat the devil by baptising it.”

 The grind of daily life? A bitter-sweet world? Bean around the world and I...I...I...I...?

The rest is foamy, chocolate-sprinkled history. The two species of coffee plant, Arabica (better flavour) and Robusta (strong and cheap), are amongst the most devoured commodities on the planet with Brazil, by far, being the biggest producer while - of all places - Finland is the biggest consumer per capita. An estimated 2.25 billion cups of this stimulating tonic are consumed daily, with over 17,000 Starbucks stores worldwide selling a fair chunk of those. Australia can still boast a respectable cafe culture after sixty-one Starbucks locations were shut down in July 2008**.

Coffee is indeed a culture, one based more on habit than passion, especially around the CBD of Sydney. Thousands of baristas all doing the same thing: learning your name; knowing your usual; quipping a joke or two; charmingly irreverent to the suits and heels lining up each day. Like lemmings we cling to our disposable spouted drinking vessels at nine on the dot every morning. Do we really need that coffee or are do we continue to ride the withdrawals of nicotine’s hey-day?

Wonderfully warm, sensually invigorating and addictively snobby, the devil’s drink has come a long way.  Considering gambling and alcohol can do no wrong in our society, it is only a matter of time before coffee becomes the next daily vice to face the chopping block. While we still have some of the best coffee in the world, enjoy as many kinds as you can. Try a Turkish (sedimentary), a Vietnamese (igneous) or, at the very least, a Labourer’s Latte (conglomerate of Milo and Instant). Remember, if you get the shakes, there’s always the Irish.

* Unfortunately for coffee ‘beans’, they are the seeds of coffee berries.
** Did the same thing happen to Sizzler? How could that possibly fail?