Anyone who has spruced up for Carnival Day knows that ‘a day at the races’ has more to do with a 1976 Queen album than it does with horse racing. In fact, this article was initially entitled ‘Horse Racing’ until your author realised this alludes to a completely different topic of conversation than the current one. While trainers and jockeys – not to mention the horses – have my complete respect, the names of particular races or horses are none to memorable for the average race-goer.
After two hundred years of racing history, the races are the third most attended sporting event in Australia after the AFL and Rugby League. Although this could be tied to an alcohol-induced equine fetish, a more likely explanation would be the $12.5 billion we spend gambling on the nags annually. Our betting-dependent national economy was born in 1913 when Australian, George Julius, invented the mechanical totalisator or tote – which led to state-based ‘Totalisator Agency Boards’, commonly known as the TAB.
After two hundred years of racing history, the races are the third most attended sporting event in Australia after the AFL and Rugby League. Although this could be tied to an alcohol-induced equine fetish, a more likely explanation would be the $12.5 billion we spend gambling on the nags annually. Our betting-dependent national economy was born in 1913 when Australian, George Julius, invented the mechanical totalisator or tote – which led to state-based ‘Totalisator Agency Boards’, commonly known as the TAB.
Australia's Greats Sportsman
For those who have not frequented Randwick or Flemington, there is far more to do than just betting on horses – struggling through the crowd and lining up at the bar helps pass time between races. As for the crowd, one immediately notes the common segregation between the Toffs (Members) on one side of the fence and the Plebs (General Admission) on the other. For the purposes of this discussion, the are two - more distinct - groups spoken of, which are the Regulars and the Riff-Raff.
Regulars: Although there is a lot of Old Money at the races, this category is not reserved specifically for wealthy Members. This group consists mainly of middle-aged, male, practiced gamblers and bookies – whether they don a Savile Row suit or the familiar grey hue of Hanes trackies. While not all are desperate gamblers, there is ever-present concern and concentration on their faces; not even the scantily-clad women distract the Regulars from the tote. Accessories include: leather-bound formbooks, piles of betting tickets, reading glasses/binoculars.
Riff-Raff: The more common category by far, made up of the multitude of over-dressed trashbags in the general area and the lucky trashbags who know/are related to someone in the Members. Mainly consisting of Maxi-Taxis full of Bucks and Hens, the Riff-Raff spend their rapidly-fading youth reliving the Year 10 School Formal; urine-soaked trousers and all. With little interest the actual event, this group single-handedly supports the Australian fake tan industry and Kelly Country Warehouse. Accessories include: terrible shoes (even I can tell), unnecessary waistcoats, inflatable dildos/sex dolls, various venereal diseases.
For the record, your author falls unashamedly in the second category* and is happy to keep the races an occasional outing with an even more occasional win. The races are a gift horse’s orifice not to be fiddled with and this dapper-dressed depraved den might not be everybody’s plastic cup of beer. However, if you want to cover your bets, press against the rails, go both ways and pick a winner, this event is for you – who knows, you might even like the horse racing?
* Although my suit was expertly tailored by cheap Vietnamese labour, thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment