For most people, this particular S-word is more offensive than a Justin Bieber Christmas album. Others have successfully repressed this painful phase of their high school education down into the same pit where the hypotenuse and two-point perspective now reside. We are all poised for different vocations, most of which do not involve Shakespeare. Despite this, there is the occasional oddball who believes English is an important subject and tries to force his opinion upon others.
To set the record straight, William Shakespeare was a witty, sarcastic and horny bastard whose real talent lied in taking the piss out of all classes of society measure for measure. For centuries, English professors and ancient academics analysed and deconstructed his plays to the point where – instead of reading them for pleasure – we constantly flick back and forth between explanatory notes trying to figure out what the hell iambic pentameter is.
When Shakespeare started writing in the 1590s, English still played second fiddle to Spanish and French and was not the global language we now all use heaps good. English was always a juicy sponge that absorbed foreign words and the scientific advances of the Renaissance brought with it Latin and Greek terms as well. The ability to employ these new words and create new ones allowed Shakespeare to blossom the creative rose petals of the English language and celebrate the dew-dropped beauty of…
Screw that. Willy’s real talent lied in insulting people and he was adapt at using every word in the dictionary to do so*. After a few moments on a Shakespearian insult generator one can appreciate that ‘Dickhead!’ pales in comparison to ‘Thou whorespun imputent embossed rascal!’ With over fifty different variations, 'Knave' was by far Shakespeare’s most inventive slur, one that could so aptly be applied to The Big Lebowski – oh if only such a play existed. A few examples include:
foul knave; lousy knave; beastly knave; scurvy-railing knave; bacon-fed knave; wrangling knave; base notorious knave; poor cuckolding knave; counterfeit cowardly knave; pestilent complete knave; stubborn ancient knave; rascally scold beggarly knave; or beetle-headed flap-eared knave.
To set the record straight, William Shakespeare was a witty, sarcastic and horny bastard whose real talent lied in taking the piss out of all classes of society measure for measure. For centuries, English professors and ancient academics analysed and deconstructed his plays to the point where – instead of reading them for pleasure – we constantly flick back and forth between explanatory notes trying to figure out what the hell iambic pentameter is.
When Shakespeare started writing in the 1590s, English still played second fiddle to Spanish and French and was not the global language we now all use heaps good. English was always a juicy sponge that absorbed foreign words and the scientific advances of the Renaissance brought with it Latin and Greek terms as well. The ability to employ these new words and create new ones allowed Shakespeare to blossom the creative rose petals of the English language and celebrate the dew-dropped beauty of…
Screw that. Willy’s real talent lied in insulting people and he was adapt at using every word in the dictionary to do so*. After a few moments on a Shakespearian insult generator one can appreciate that ‘Dickhead!’ pales in comparison to ‘Thou whorespun imputent embossed rascal!’ With over fifty different variations, 'Knave' was by far Shakespeare’s most inventive slur, one that could so aptly be applied to The Big Lebowski – oh if only such a play existed. A few examples include:
foul knave; lousy knave; beastly knave; scurvy-railing knave; bacon-fed knave; wrangling knave; base notorious knave; poor cuckolding knave; counterfeit cowardly knave; pestilent complete knave; stubborn ancient knave; rascally scold beggarly knave; or beetle-headed flap-eared knave.
Once more unto the pub dear friends!
Thankfully for the drunken peasants who packed theatres back in the day, Shakespeare always threw in a lecherous, sex-obsessed medieval scoundrel to break the monotony between main characters spouting romantic drivel. One favourite is the wasted Porter from Macbeth, who highlights the problems combining booze with sex: “it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to” Remember, until you see Shakespeare performed on a stage, you often miss the funny bits. You get it? Bits?
At the end of the day we are stuck with Shakespeare. The guy was just too good. What grammar Fascists and upstart correctionists like your Author need to understand, is that Shakespeare was free and loose with the English language. He showed that words can be made up, pulled apart and put back together to suit your purpose. Therefore, let this be a vow not to be such an autocrat when it comes to budging on which words are correct and which ones are uncorrect.
Shakespeare’s countless, multitudinous and generous contributions to English have not dwindled under exposure. He accommodated the obscene, the majestic, the pious and the suspicious – let his amazement not be misplaced and let his monumental legacy be not gloomy and lonely, but frugal with radiance.
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