Friday, October 1, 2010

Procrastination

A fitting topic to usher in this new era of productivity, procrastination is a personal nemesis of mine and a valiant foe by any standard. Even while looking at this screen, the temptation to be distracted by another cup of ulcer-inducing instant coffee looms ever present. Although part confession, part psychological hurdle, turning this cranial cactus on its head is a step I must take lest this blogging segment becomes Danny’s Occasional Whinge*.

Procrastination is a beast that burdens us all – one that can only be slain by activity. The best part is that this activity can take any shape or form in order to reassure the mind of its hard work. Whether in the home or the workplace, validating the importance of meaningless actions is the number one priority for the procrastinator. Sure, I have two reports due tomorrow and still haven’t edited that manuscript, but if I just keep going I will have won fifteen games of Hearts in a row! Ben, Pauline and Michelle are about to enter a world of pain.

Our symbiotic friend, social media, provides many time-justifying opportunities for the procrastinator. Just when you’re about to knuckle down and get some work done, you are suddenly embroiled in an online debate about the thickness of pizza bases. Not only do you find yourself fervently defending thin bases with simpler toppings, you gather YouTube clips and Wikipedia entries to support your argument as you wait, hammer cocked, for that next email notification or message alert. Before you know it half the day is gone, but you stand proud by your achievement, knowing that your two bob’s worth made a difference.

Another practical tip for the would-be procrastinator is to start many as many jobs as you can at once while finishing none. Exceptionally useful around the home, a simple task such as doing laundry can open endless opportunities. You find a lone sock that leads on a house-wide search for its pair, only to discover that long-lost Toto CD under the lounge, only to find the electricity has cut out when you try to play it, then deciding to clean out under the house while attempting to access the fuse-box, only to find an old batch of homebrew amidst the debris. Before you know it, your housemate walks in to discover you covered in cobwebs, surrounded by beer bottles and dirty laundry air-guitaring to Hold the Line with a single dirty sock.

Can procrastination be conquered? The obvious thing to say is give me a few days and I will give you an answer, but the problem goes deeper than that. From the greatest anti-procrastination movie of all time, Dead Poets Society: “I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” (Henry David Thoreau) Too deep for the dereliction of household duties? Most likely, but the temptation to do nothing is all too delicious. Keep a sharp lookout for procrastination for, before you know it, you could be writing a rant about time-wasting while hiding from your boss.

* For the record, weekends are not incorporated under the Daily umbrella.

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